The more I talk to women, the more I learn how distressed many of you are by simply getting yourselves out the door every morning. I hear words like struggle, confused, overwhelmed.

Many of you have unquestioningly absorbed and signed off on the myth, I don’t know who started, that proclaims, ‘you’ll become invisible in your mid-fifties.’

You know what I say to that? Only if you agree to it. And, what are you doing to support that myth to make it become your reality?


One way to be super invisible, is to wear a lot of black, oversized clothing.

Of course, black is chic and edgy and cool. If you live in Manhattan and ride the subway every day. In other locales, a basic black wardrobe can be downright dreary. Both visually and internally.

When I moved back to my Midwestern hometown, that first winter, I got downright depressed almost everywhere I went. Because it was a sea of black puffer coats, shapeless pants and serviceable handbags. Invisible. Everyone looked the same.

It was like going to an art museum and the only thing on the walls was black and white photographs. Snooze.

There’s nothing to delight the eye, or even the psyche by a menu of all black. It’s not uplifting!


I know. It’s reliable. Black doesn’t show stains. It can reduce the appearance of your size.

You find it hard to select clothing your size in colors. You don’t know your colors. This is where it gets complicated, right?

Many of you say, ‘well, I’ll do all that when I feel better.’

It doesn’t work that way. Paying attention to your appearance and beginning to integrate some color into your closet will give you a feeling of uplift now rather than waiting until you feel better, you’ve lost those fifty pounds…

Obviously, I’m wearing black in the photos accompanying both posts this week. However, notice, in both instances, I’ve integrated white as a contrast to brighten up the black. I rarely wear black right up next to my face without a buffer.

I will only wear black in ways that softens it’s harshness. Otherwise, it drains my skin and my life force energy. 

If you’re not sure which colors work for you, start with white, or ivory. White and ivory worn together with a black base can be very smart and chic. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

For instance, this morning, I saw a woman wearing these pieces and she looked smashing:

Simple white blouse

Long ivory cardigan

Black patterned leggings

Animal print flats

She looked comfortable and put together. Her face glowed and looked awake rather than dull or ruddy as it would have with black next to her face early in the morning.

It may feel like a gargantuan effort, paying attention to to your appearance now — especially if everything isn’t perfect. However, it will make you begin to feel better and other things will naturally evolve from there.

Not sure how, where to start? Need encouragement? Let’s talk. I’d love to support you as you begin to shape your future, very visible self by starting in your closet.

My signature Clear, Cull and Create package is an in-person or virtual closet clear and rebuild. You come away with 10-15 new outfits from items you already own — and — a shopping list so you can go out with confidence to begin to select pieces that will take you from invisible to confident and comfortable.

Priced beginning at $300 until Dec. 27, 2022 Reach out!